Self-Care Corner: When You're Everybody's Somebody

Something we say often here at Cypress is “Everybody is Somebody’s Somebody”, to remind ourselves to treat others, and ourselves, with compassion. But what if you’re EVERYBODY’S Somebody?

As a wife of a person in recovery, a mom, a homeschool educator, and a colleague, I wear a lot of hats. In my home, I am the one who remembers all the schedules, appointments, manages the meals and makes sure the bills get paid. I am the peacekeeper, the maid, the nurse, and the counselor … all of the things. I do all of this out of love. But at times, I have felt like I am everybody’s somebody, and there is no somebody for me.

Being the emotional anchor for others can be a huge weight, one that isn’t always given the recognition it deserves. You learn to live in what I call “survival mode auto pilot”, you push through even when your energy is low, not because you have the strength, but because there isn’t anyone else to do it. I don’t say that with resentment, just honesty. It can be lonely when you’re everybody’s somebody and there’s no somebody for you.

So here is what I’m learning: my needs are valid, even if no one else is available to meet them. I am allowed to feel tired, exhausted even. I am allowed to want support and ask for it. And if support doesn’t come from others, I can still care for myself, without guilt. That might look like making a frozen pizza for dinner one night instead of cooking, taking a drive to have some alone time and clear my head. Saying no to something, even if I “could” make it work – and giving myself grace instead of criticism. My self-care is not selfish. My self-care doesn’t make me lazy. My self-care is helping me become a better somebody for me.

You might be somebody’s somebody. You might be everybody’s somebody. But don’t forget – you are YOUR somebody, too. And you’re worthy of the same love and support that you so freely give!